


Texts from the Loo

by Mochas N Mayhem (KoohiiCafe)



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Eggsy is a Little Shit, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Merlin is a Little Shit, Phone Sex, TFLN - Freeform, They're both Little Shits alright?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 21:42:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5514344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoohiiCafe/pseuds/Mochas%20N%20Mayhem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>M: [Stop touching yourself.]</p><p>G: [wtf!?!?!?! did u install a camera???]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Texts from the Loo

**Author's Note:**

> This was completely inspired by [this](http://textsfromthetailors.tumblr.com/post/135725066410/image-submitted-by-kazokuhouou-608-stop) post made by [TextsFromTheTailors](http://textsfromthetailors.tumblr.com/). I took one look at it and just _had_ to fic it.

> M: [Stop touching yourself.]

The words scrolled across his vision, neat text typed on the inside screen of his glasses, entirely unexpected. Eggsy froze, eyes widening and breath catching, hand stilling instinctively in reaction to the order that shouldn't have been there, that Merlin shouldn't have known to send, and _fuck_. What the _fuck_? How the-

"Merlin, _what the fuck_?!" The words were explosive, blurted out without a thought, let loose even as his hand flew away from his cock, flailing out of the water, bubbles and droplets flying as he grasped blindly at the side of the tub. His gaze darted around, searching for the cameras that _had_ to have been installed at some point, because he sure as fuck had made sure that the transmission setting on his glasses was turned _off_ before he'd even turned the water on. When he couldn't find any from where he sat, and there was no response to his startled- not panicked, he was _not_ panicking- question, he took a moment to shift in the water, suspiciously letting a loose floating cloud of bubbles cover his lap. Only then did he grab at his phone where it lay on the side of the tub, swiping it unlocked and pulling up his contacts so he could type a quick text;

> G: [wtf!?!?!?! did u install a camera???]

There was a brief pause before text typed itself across his glasses once more.

> M: [If you think that any Kingsman property isn't generously equipped with surveillance cameras, lad, then you need to have yourself another think.]

"Oi!" It was an offended huff, a protest, but even as he immediately began swyping out his indignation, Merlin added;

> M: [That's not how I knew. Surely you don't think I would be so crass as to spy on my agents in the privacy of the loo?]

Then, again, before Eggsy could delete the start of his initial reply;

> M: [Did you stop?]

The fuck? 'Did he stop?'

> G: [of course i stopped u wanker! ur spying on me!]
> 
> G: [how the fuck did u know?]

Wait, no, shit, that was the wrong question. It was already sent, though, his finger moving faster across the screen than he could actually think, and all he could do was add;

> G: [y the fuck r u spying on me?]

> M: [I'm not. Your vitals spiked and I received an automatic alert. Given that there's no reason for excitement during this portion of your mission, I checked on you.]
> 
> M: [It wasn't difficult to figure out from there what you were up to.]
> 
> M: [How hard are you?]

'How-' What the fuck kind of question was that? His face heated, flushing a deep red, even as something zinged through his senses, like some sharp thrill of electricity, and he typed back;

> G: [wtf kind of question is that???]

> M: [...]
> 
> M: [...]
> 
> M: [...]
> 
> M: [If this isn't something you want, feel free to tell me to fuck off and I'll not bother you again. We can forget this happened, or I can apologize and sign off, whichever you're most comfortable with.]

Merlin's cursor blinked silently in his vision, patiently, a show that the handler would say nothing else until Eggsy himself did. He eyed the little line, thoughts spinning through his mind. How the fuck was he supposed to answer that?

He was still rock hard beneath the water. Shock aside, the other man's interruption had done nothing to dampen his arousal. Instead... fuck, he thought that, somehow, he might be harder now than when he'd started. He groaned, dragging one wet, soapy hand across his face slowly, and tried to push that arousal and confusion aside so he could _think_. It was a harder task than one might imagine, but he managed it eventually. Somehow.

Then, slowly, still flushed redder than a damn beet, he answered;

> G: [harder than fucking diamond]

Yeah, so, maybe he'd been imagining a certain jumper-wearing Scotsman when he'd started teasing himself with firm, hard strokes. Maybe he'd been remembering the way the man's burr sounded in his ear, the way it felt when he ordered him through parts of missions. Maybe-

> M: [Good.]

Eggsy gave a low moan. One single word typed over his glasses shouldn't affect him so much, shouldn't make his hand twitch towards his cock. And if just a text hit him that hard...

> M: [Where are your hands right now?]

> G: [one of thems on my phone, how do u think im texting u?]

> M: [Cheekiness isn't going to serve you here.]

> G: [u like my cheeky side]

> M: [Keep that up and you're going to learn a new meaning of the word 'cheeky.']

> G: [promises promises]

> M: [Promises indeed. Where is your other hand?]

He could practically hear the dark promise in the text, could almost hear the way Merlin would sound growling it in his ear, and it sent a shiver down his spine, even as he grinned to himself. After all, Merlin hadn't _denied_ what Eggsy said. Which was why he answered;

> G: [not on my dick]

> M: [I'll not ask again, boy.]

Fu-u- _u-uck_. His hand twitched again, further this time, and he had to force himself to grab more firmly at the side of the tub.

> G: [fine, fine. on the side of the tub]

> M: [Keep it there. You're not to move it unless I give you permission.]

> G: [r we gonna sit around texting all night, or r u gonna let me touch?]

> M: [Mangling Arthur's lines at me isn't going to convince me to let you touch yourself. You'll have to work harder for that particular pleasure.]
> 
> M: [Tell me what you want, Galahad, and I'll _think_ about letting you have it.]

Of _course_ the bastard wanted him to describe what he wanted. Of _course_ he was going to make Eggsy tell him before he let him actually do anything. His head dropped back to thunk against the back of the tub with another groan, and the surge of arousal at the thought of doing as he was told was undeniable. He inhaled deeply, slowly, and began typing.

> G: [i was thinking about u, u know. before u texted]

> M: [Oh?]

> G: [imagined it was u here. ur hand on my cock. wanted u to be the one, wanted ur voice in my ear as u pulled me off.]

> M: [...]
> 
> M: [...]
> 
> M: [You'll have that, lad, when you're back.]
> 
> M: [Continue.]

> G: [i want to hear u, merlin. fuck, do u know how many times i've wanked after missions? thinking about the way u sound when u get all bossy over the comm?]

> M: [I have a fair idea, yes. You're not nearly as discreet as you think you are when you disappear into the loo on the plane.]
> 
> M: [I can't call you this time, not unless you want half of my division listening in, and I'm not in the mood to share you right this moment.]

'Share' him? _That_ was a thought... and he wasn't sure if the shiver that ran through him was good or bad. Arousal or fear.

> M: [Go on.]

> G: [fuck, merlin, i need something more than just promises for when i'm back. i need to touch]
> 
> G: [need YOUR touch]

> M: [Then my touch you will have.]
> 
> M: [You're going to let go of the tub, and reach down into the water. When you wrap those talented fingers of yours around your cock, it will be because _I_ wished it.]
> 
> M: [It will be your hand, Galahad, but it will be _my_ touch. Do you understand?]

> G: [FUCK yes]

> M: [ _Now_ , then.]
> 
> M: [You will tell me exactly what you do. You will _not_ come without my permission.]

> G: [hope u don't expect me to be all that coherent]

And, with that last message sent, he let go of the tub. A full body shudder worked it's way through him as his hand met the warm water then slid lower. His breath shook as his fingers met the heated flesh of his cock, his chest heaving as he began to stroke. Shakily he swiped his free hand across his phone screen and began to type.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're on tumblr, you can find me at [MakethWoman](http://makethwoman.tumblr.com)!


End file.
